What's happening?

I realize that when I was younger, things were not that complicated. Life was good, fun, a lot of laughter. But things changed nowadays. And those laughter seemed like memories from long ago. Is it me or the world has become more depressing? Maybe I'm just caught up in my feelings at this very instance. But nonetheless, I should be very grateful. And of course I am. My life has been good, minus some blip for 4 years. I guess I feel that 4 years had been wasted, 4 years of lies and deceit and sin. How I wish I handled things better back then. Made the right decision that I know I am capable of. In that 4 years, I have lost a huge part of me that I held close to my heart. FYI, that 4 year period was between 2004-2008. Life's been great since then. It was tough trying to break free from your own prison but I'm doing okay. Working now, band's doing great but there's just something missing. And I know whats missing. And I'm trying my best to fill in those missing pieces. I guess my demons are still tormenting me. Ya Allah, please give me the strength to overcome my demons. Please give me the strength to be a better servant to you. Please give me the strength to be a better son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin and friend. Please guide me to the path of righteousness. Aku hanya ingin menjadi seorang hambaMu yang bertaqwa kepadaMu, beriman kepadaMu. Bebaskan la aku dari segala perbuatan2 keji, fikiran yang cetek dan bebaskanlah aku dari nafsuku, Ya Allah.