Decisions, decisions, decisions

Today was suppose to be a great day. It started off great. Lunch with family at KLGCC celebrating Father's Day. Performed with my band at Fete De La Musique Festival at the Curve, Damansara which was awesome. One of the best shows we've had in a while. Some minor mistake made during few of the songs we played due to the fact that the current lineup only been practising together at the start of the month of June. Nonetheless, I feel we were one of those unique bands. I realized that bands nowadays tend to be the same. So many bands out there trying to be like Avenge Sevenfold or Breaking Benjamin or Yellowcard instead of trying to be original and unique. Anyway, we rocked the stage and the fans loved us. To make it even more special, almost every member of my family came. Mom, Dad, two of my brothers and their family, three of my sisters came, also with their kids. It made it even more special.

Then came the sad part of the day. I got back home, feeling very tired but still stoked about our performance. I decided to have a talk with my mom regarding the path I want to take in my life. I told her that I'm quitting my job. I want to get a job that's nearer to home and with flexible time. I told her that the band is finally taking off and I have to consider doing something that won't jeopardize my commitment to the band. She got really upset. We argued. I won't go into detail what was said but it saddens me to know that she still won't let me be who I want to be. She still won't let me go and experience what the world can offer. Yes, its true that the world is a cruel place. Its true that the world is full of people with bad intention. But sometimes, every once in a while you meet wonderful people along the way. You get to meet up with people with a genuine heart. Good people. Sometimes, you gotta take the risk. I know every parent just want the best for their child but stopping them from pursuing their dream is not thinking whats best for them. Is it so wrong to be different than everyone else in the family or ancestors? Is it so wrong trying to be a musician? Life as a musician is hard. But then again, who said life was easy? You gotta work hard to survive, regardless of what occupation. But to do what you love to do, not many can say that. And here I have the opportunity to do it. To think about it, everywhere you go, there are people out in the world just want to hurt you. So it's pretty irrelevant that just because I want to be a musician, bad things will happen to me. That applies to every job, every position, everywhere. So why she won't let me? Am I doing something haram? The money I get from making music, haram ke? I'm trying to make an honest living. Something that at the same time is something I love and worth doing. The money is there. Its up to us to know where to look. And again, that applies to every job in the world. The most important part is that its an honest living. I'm not selling drugs. I'm not soliciting sex. I'm not selling booze. She's worried about all the bad influence the world of music brings. I've been playing music for 10 years now. I've never use drugs, I've never drank alcohol before and I don't have sex orgies. All I want to do is perform and share with the world our music. I don't party hard like how my brothers and sisters did when they were young. My idea of a good time is chilling with friends, have a drink and have a good laugh. After 26 years in this life, I would guess that my family would know who I am by now. And yet, they still don't know who I really am. Every single advice my parents gave me, I still listen to those advice. Yes, I did make a lot of mistakes 5 years ago. I was too in love and I did things I wished I never did. But we learn from our mistakes. I learned it the hard way. I just wish my family can see that I am no longer Adik Boy. I'm Iriz. I love music and I love performing. I love my family, my friends and most importantly, I love Allah SWT. Even though I am far from being a good Muslim. I try my best to do things the right way. I try my best not to stray from the right path.